the chris naish blog

Baby Registry Shopping Day #1

2012-01-06T21:47:00.001-08:00

Highlights from Baby Registry Day #1

Jen[My wife]: Let's get some matching pants for the baby!
Chris: Hee hee - babies wear pants!

Employee: Here's a list of commonly needed items.
Chris: oh my. oh my. I think I'm having a panic attack.

Chris: It's like this baby is a new person who refuses to use anything we already own and needs brand new items to do every single thing in it's life!
Jen: Yep. That's exactly what it's like.

Jen: We need to get a baby bathtub.
Chris: I thought babies bathed in the sink?

Jen: What do you think of this toy?
Chris: It has a snail on it. Snails encourage slowness.

Chris: I don't trust that sleepy sheep.

Chris: What does that do? Gross. Nevermind.

Dear Mike Bell - I hate you.

2011-12-16T09:38:00.000-08:00

On December 14th I had the pleasure of attending a Prince Concert. He played insanely amazingly from 8:15pm - 10:15pm. After the show, I needed more Prince, but there was none to be had. None. When I opened the Calgary Herald this morning I read an article by Mike Bell about Prince's after show for 160 extremely lucky fans. An after show that he attended. This is an open letter to Mike. Click here to read his article.

Dear Mike Bell,

I hate you.

I'm sorry if that's harsh, but it is a sad fact. While I immensely enjoyed the Prince concert on Wedmesday, I was also left wanting, nay, needing more. I didn't leave the Saddledome until 10:40pm, hoping for a last encore. I yelled at the drum techs to "Stop tearing down! Stop!! Prince might come back!"

But Prince didn't come back. He went to the aftershow, and I went home. You, sir, also went to the aftershow, and in your article about it you make it quite clear how awesome it was.

Which is why I hate you.

Why did you need to tell us how amazing the after show was?! Why did you tell us about Prince's 4am "Nothing Compares 2 U" brilliance? Why did you regale us with the glories of being 1 of 160 lucky people? Why, Mike? Why?!

You could've told us that the aftershow was terrible: that Prince ate a baby, murdered a senior citizen, or forged a cheque - ANYTHING other than the sad, sick truth. But you didn't. Ignorance was bliss, but now my ignorance has turned to knowledge and my bliss to regret.

This doesn't just hurt me, as there are 11,000 of us now. Thanks to you we are forced to walk the earth, knowing that we missed an extra performance by Prince. Knowing that we could've been close to the Purple One, knowing that we could've been there.

I hope the aftershow was worth it. Which I know it was.

Hatefully,
Chris
PS Merry Christmas!

Album Review from The Gauntlet

2011-12-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

The Gauntlet is the U of C's student newspaper, and they ran this article in this week's issue. Very cool! Read it online at The Gauntlet Online, special thanks to the writer Justin Azevedo.

"This album confounds me.

That’s not a bad thing, though. It’s intriguing — there are layers to the sonic presentation, and the lyrical prowess of Naish leaves me wondering about some existential crisis I may have every time I finish a track.

Perhaps it’s my own personal struggles that prevent me from fully enjoying this EP. My emotions are, at best, clouded. Songs are meant to trigger an emotional response — I’m just not sure that I’m in the right frame of mind right now to fully comprehend the response Naish is going for.

Chris Naish’s vocals are what I consider to be airy, but once track four starts, his diaphragm — and by extension, his passion — starts to become much more important to the sound of the EP. With the exception of the harmonica on “Be the Road,” the album is completely instrumentally driven by the sound of his warm acoustic guitar.

Despite my overall bewilderment, I do feel as if the 20 minutes of audio on the CD — which was recorded in one night — are worth a listen. If it’s not your prerogative to purchase the CD, I implore you to at least listen to “See New York” and tell me I’m not crazy for crying."

Tuesday's Tracks: Double Shot - Swingin' Medallions

2011-12-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

every tuesday i will share with you all an amazingly awesome song that is driving me crazy with how cool it is.

DOUBLE (SHOT OF MY BABY'S LOVE) - The Swingin' Medallions

This track is crazy! It sounds like a million people are singing at the coolest party ever. There's screaming, yelling, drum crashing and just mind-bogglingly high amount of awesome. If this was a fool even Mr. T wouldn't be able to pity it. Yeah. I said it. Just dig the wildness of this beautiful platter.

Judge Judy - I love you

2011-12-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

Me, Jen, and Scoot and his girlfriend Beka [Scoot is my hetero life-mate, Jen is my wife, and Beka is Scoot's girlfriend] absolutely love to watch Judge Judy. Scoot owns two Judge Judy DVD's and we've watched them several billion times. So often, in fact, that phrases from Judge Judy have made there way into our everyday language. As a ridiculous tribute to the foxy Judge Judy, I wrote this little song. Lyrics below.

LYRICS
I'll take my brothers car and crash it.
Take a family heirloom and smash it.
I'll burn my name in my neighbour's front lawn.
Replace his vaseline with tiger balm!
I'll do anything to get sued, just to meet you, Judge Judy.

I'll host a bar mitzvah and only serve bacon.
I'll got to church while I'm naked.
I'll do anything to get sued, just to meet you, Judge Judy.

Oh oh Judge Judy, you're such a cutie.
Your lover boy, I'm coming soon!
Oh oh Judge Judy, I watch your booty,
Wiggle it's way across the court room!

I'll do anything to get sued, just to meet you, Judge Judy.

Album Review from Blues Bunny

2011-12-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

All the way from Glasgow comes an album review from the Bluesbunny Blog! Cool stuff! Read it online here: Bluesbunny.com

Being categorised as a Canadian folk singer is hardly likely to attract much in the way of attention given the surfeit of acoustic beard tuggers claiming Kerouac credibility doing the rounds these days. However, Chris Naish steps over them by infusing his album “Light a Cigarette” with, wait for it, humour.

Admittedly it is a dry and downbeat humour but that, in itself, makes for a refreshing change from the genre norm with that kicked and liking it lyrical approach lifting the likes of “Be The Road” up high into the sunshine. Also of note is Mr Naish’s energetic wordplay with “Never Stop” easily capable of ducking and diving its way from the coffee shops of Alberta to the backstreets of downtown L.A.

It would have been easy to dismiss this album, especially as Mr Naish’s three quarters of the way to irritating vocal affectations suggest that he had an element of pastiche in mind during this album’s creation, but the result is never less than pleasing and often quite affecting. His words have resonance and, for that reason alone, this album deserves your attention.

Sing to Me Saturday: Caige Jambor - Morning Breeze

2011-12-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

I love a great, new acoustic song, and with YouTube we can hear new stuff in an intimate and raw way. Each Saturday I post a rad, intimate, song. Submit your video for Sing to Me Saturday by e-mailing chrisnaish @ gmail.com

A very funky/groovy way to start your saturday, although, it's after noon right now so I doubt you'll be starting your saturday. So - a very funky/groovy song to start your saturday afternoon. ANYWAYS, this is a really rad track with some intricate guitar licks and a couple musical curveballs.
what's your opinion? what's your onion?

Thursday Art Bonanza: Skull Smoke

2011-12-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

I love to draw, so during spare time at work or at home I draw pictures using sharpies, high-lighters and regular pens. Each Thursday I'll upload a new piece of "art."

Click to enlarge

Tuesday's Tracks: Honeycombs - Have I The Right

2011-11-29T13:01:00.000-08:00

every tuesday i will share with you all an amazingly awesome song that is driving me crazy with how cool it is.

HAVE I THE RIGHT - The Honeycombs

A slice of perfect garage rock! A stompin' drum beat and a real screamer of chorus, "Have I The Right" is all killer. The high lead guitar buzzes through the song like a bee after too much honey liquor...is that a thing? Anyways... it even has a girl drummer! Way cool.

What do you think?

Album Review from Hopeless Thunder

2011-11-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

The blog, Hopeless Thunder, just wrote a great review of my album. "Hopeless Thunder" is an awesome blog name, by the way. Click here to visit the site.

"Canada’s own folk/garage musician Chris Naish is like an unpolished but louder Bright Eyes. A true story teller whose convincing songs make you sympathetic with just one listen.

Opening track, “Be The Road,” introduces us into a raw sound that is so unheard of these days. Right off, a beautiful harmonica intro flows into a sort of existential realization. “Looking at my life like looking at a movie…I wanna walk right and I do mean truly.” This natural, raw, surprising, yet passionate sound reels you in. The smart lyrics and a unique sound keep me intrigued. Things I don’t expect to happen in the song, happen and it somehow works for Naish. The unforgettable harmonica pulsates throughout the song in pieces and pulls you back into reality after falling into the melancholy world “Be The Road” creates. “Death is a valley with no shadow, locked in a house with nowhere to go.” The song ends with Chris Naish hammering on the vocals, beating out the final few lines with an emotional goodbye.

“Empty Pockets” instantly puts you into a sad state of mind with its emotional outpour of lost love, a case of the workman’s woes, and sad realizations. “Never Stop” takes on a slight Cage the Elephant sound and continues with the surprises. The upbeat tempo and the hip hop/rap essence of the song is strange yet amusing. You hear Chris in the beginning asking, “Are we good to go?” For some reason these comments artists sometimes leave in their songs make it a more enjoyable experience, for me at least. The guitar takes a backseat to the quick and clever vocals. The chorus takes you on a quirky ride that has you catch yourself tapping your feet along to. “It’s a long way to the top, but I aint ever gonna stop.” Unexpectedly again, Chris Naish takes on some Lil Mama with a “No Music”-esque verse. If the folk/garage genre doesn’t work out for Chris Naish full time, he’s got a back up career in hip hop. “Never Stop” is one of the highlights of the album with its optimistic tone yet realistic view of life. This gets 5 stars for its rating in my iTunes for sure.

The title track is refreshing in its sound and content. Faster paced the previous songs, it’s catchy and amusing. While “Light a Cigarette” puts you into an uplifted mood, “In The Ground” instantly puts you in the completely opposite mindset. Its haunting vocals bring you straight back to reality with lines like “a torn gym bag is all he needs to hide what you don’t want the world to know.” Chris Naish gives a painful performance on “In the Ground” and keeps to the raw, honest feeling throughout the Light a Cigarette EP.

The final heartbreaking performance of Chris Naish on the Light a Cigarette EP leaves the listener fully sated. The EP ends on a poignant note and yet, there is a glimmer of hope in there. Chris Naish’s emotion filled and point blank lyrics bring to mind what every person thinks of: death, the inability to satisfy your love, dreams, and buried secrets.

Chris Naish’s natural, raw, honest sound makes this EP a refreshing listen. It does what you want from a full length album in just six songs. There is no hiding behind synthesizers and auto tune in this EP. It’s pure emotion. And it’s something you yearn to hear live."

Calgary Herald Article, November 18, 2011

2011-11-18T12:05:00.000-08:00

Really cool article by Mike Bell. This one's got some good jokes in it, too!

Chris Naish releases his new album, Light a Cigarette, with a show tonight at Bonavista Baptist Church (1507 Acadia Dr. SE).

It may have been a somewhat inauspicious start to his performing career, but local singer-songwriter Chris Naish can at least laugh about it now.

He was in his early teens and a member of a punk band called Shove Off, a group he admits that had no talent and very little clue, who spoke in fake British accents after seeing a Sex Pistols documentary, and whose musical proficiency was as questionable as its repertoire and preparedness.

"We were booed off the stage of the Multicultural Centre," he says of that first show, which featured the hapless band without a drummer, as he'd been fired the night before for, Naish vaguely recalls, "bringing his own pop to practice or something like that."

You could chalk that event up to youth, sure, but it's probably also pretty much in keeping with a common theme in Naish's life that he admits to a little later on in the conversation: "I run before I can walk a little too much."

Well, if that's the case, consider him now, a decade later, clearly and comfortably in full musical stride with the release of his new six-song CD, Light a Cigarette. The album, the musician's third and first actually recorded in a studio, finds him in firm control of a solo sound he's been honing over the past five years while winning audiences, earning praise and even radio airplay. Part folk, part rock, part punk, part rap, the half-dozen songs make confident use of his varied influences that range from Bob Dylan and Tom Waits to the Ramones and The Strokes.

"In terms of the genre-bending, I wouldn't say that it's intentional that I set out to do that," he explains of his eclectic sound in a singer-songwriter package. "But I think that, especially nowadays when everybody has an iPod on shuffle, you don't listen to one type of thing. You don't even listen to an entire whole album. So I think that being influenced by different things comes out in that. . . . At the end of the day, it's all music."

And at the end of the day, Naish is just happy to be making it again. The album actually marks his return to doing what he loves after a six-month hiatus at the beginning of the year due to "writer's block, creative block - every block that you could think of. It was like Tetris there were so many blocks." But instead of holing himself up and shutting down completely for that half year, he set out on another performance path which ultimately led him back to music refreshed and ready to go.

"I still needed to do something on stage, because that's who I am, so I started doing standup, and that was awesome. But I found that I missed the music part of it. I found that the more I did standup the more I realized what was important about art and creating. . . . That's what comedy did for me."

And, he says, those comedic skills should also improve his between-song-banter - something hopefully everyone else will be able to laugh about. "I'd be funny maybe five out of 20 times," Naish says of the past, "so I thought if I go back to music after doing standup I'll be funny 10 out of 20 times."

Calgary Sun Article, November 18th 2011

2011-11-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

Today I had the awesome pleasure of being in the Calgary Sun. Thanks alot to Lisa Wilton for the article and April Wilcocks for the photo.

It took sever culture shock for Chris Naish to finally start dealing with his depression.

The 25-year-old Calgary singer and songwriter suffered with the condition throughout his teenage years, but it wasn’t until he went on a missionary trip to India and England in 2004 that he finally found a way to manage it.

“We rented an apartment for a month and we would tour the poorest parts of India,” he recalls. “So I’m dealing with that and then dealing with depression. But then I was like, ‘I’m such a privileged person living in Canada. There were all these emotions going around and I needed an outlet.’”

That outlet was Naish’s guitar.

Though he’d played in a series of ‘terrible’ punk bands as a drummer and a bass player, Naish had never written his own songs. After returning to Canada, he found himself purging his deepest, darkest thoughts through music

“I used to do mostly depressing stuff,” says Naish. “When I played a restaurant, they’d have to hide the cutlery. That’s how depressing it was.” As Naish continued his songwriting journey, the glumness of the initial tunes was replaced by a more positive attitude.

He also became increasingly confident as a performer. He’s been known to crack a few jokes during shows, a talent which he honed for six months this on the stages of Calgary’s comedy clubs.

“At the end of 2010 I was at a dead end creatively and I was stressing out,” he says. “So in January of this year I say, ‘OK, no gigs for six months.’ But I still needed to perform because I’m just built that way. So I did stand-up comedy with a friend of mine. Every week I’d be going to the open mics. I have a lot more confidence and I’m more able to talk to the audience. I think what you can expect at my show are a lot of different songs, but also a lot of joking and banter and stories. I try to make every show like you’re visiting my house and I’m trying to entertain you.”

Naish’s ‘home’ for his next show is the Bonavista Baptist Church, 1507 Acadia DR SE, tonight where he’ll celebrate the release of his debut studio album, Light A Cigarette.

While his ‘garage folk’ songs don’t quite fit in the Christian music category – he’s closer in style to charismatic British tunesmith Pete Doherty – Naish is active in his own church and there are moments when his faith comes through in his songwriting.

“I’m not going to shy away from it if a line works,” he says. “There’s a line in Be the Road that says, ‘I want the Lord to flow through me.’ It’s pretty straightforward. But it comes out honestly. Tickets for Naish’s CD release show are $10 and come with a copy of Light a Cigarette.

Gig Diary - Joints in Motion Fundraiser, November 10th, 2011

2011-11-13T12:32:00.000-08:00

This concert took place this past Thursday at the Leela Eco Spa. Pretty rad show. I played my set in a room that they normally have Hot Yoga in, so it was crazy warm. There was no PA so we did it busker-style, which is always a fun challenge. Here's some photos by Amber Lee Photography. For more info on the cause, click here.

Enjoying a Steam Whistle with my great pal Geoff.

Down in the grooves.

My harmonica and I have a complicated relationship.

Gig Diary - Moka Coffee Bar, Saskatoon, October 2011

2011-11-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

Photo by Trinda Jocelyn

This past October I went up with Jen to visit her mom. We had an awesome time. Me, my nephews, and my brother-in-law went to a indoor driving range. I am not an amazing golfer. I shot myself in the foot and broke the head off of a club. The golfers below us had to watch out for my nephews falling golf balls - they had no kids drivers so the dudes had to choke up on the adult ones. We were havoc.

While I was up there, I played a gig at the very awesome Moka Coffee Bar. Huge thanks to Amy Patterson and Bailey for bringing a whole swarm of people.

Photo by Colin Chatfield

Photo by Trinda Jocelyn

Album Review from Indie Music Reviewer

2011-11-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

So far, the album reviews have been very wonderful, very encouraging. Here's one all the way from Atlanta, Georgia! Thanks to Tyler Stephens and the Indie Music Reviewer!

"This is a wonderful album.

Hailing from Alberta, Canada, Chris Naish plays a style of folk music that is equally reminiscent of Neil Young and Daniel Johnston, but only superficially. In reality his material is crystal-clear in its transparency and originality, giving you a very strong sense of “who” Chris is from his perspective through a very unique and beautiful narrative.

Chris’ upcoming album Light a Cigarette embodies this persona perfectly. The record opens with “Be the Road,” a hauntingly sad song separated in to pieces by some wonderful harmonica melodies. It is absolutely gorgeous and deserves to be carefully listened over and over again. The rest of the album is a beautiful and unpredictable ride; to dissect or analyze each song would only distract and minimize their meaning and significance.

We’ve all seen “singer/songwriter-guy” at various coffee shops or being characterized and made fun of on television. Chris Naish is not “that guy.” There isn’t a hint of pretentiousness or “cheesiness” anywhere. If anything, it somehow sounds relatively uncertain in theme in spite of the fact that each song is so well executed. The guitar playing is consistent in tempo, clarity and volume. When played, the harmonica somehow manages to stay at the same volume as the vocals, something to be carefully considered when both are recorded with the same microphone in a live take.

The whole essence of this record is a sense of reflective empathy from the listener’s perspective, perhaps not even intentionally. It sounds just like someone playing right in front of you and doesn’t offer any distractions from the intended message. There are lots of accurate ways to describe this record but if only one adjective could be offered, it would have to be “honest.” This is a painfully honest record, in every sense of the word. You finish every song understanding the exact message that has been conveyed, only to be redirected all over again.

Chris Naish is a rarity in the music world. Every so often, artists with an interesting and off-kilter persona manage to grab someone’s real, honest attention in a world full of distractions. Chris sounds like himself, and that is what every artist ultimately strives for. Perfect pitch is thrown by the wayside and the focus is instead on lyrical content and delivery.

This record is an emotional and hypnotic treasure. It is an artistic masterpiece that is just short enough to let you reflect on its message, but feels just as complete as any other full length album out there that is twice as long. Get this record and show your friends. 5/5 stars"

Album Review from Indie 403

2011-11-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

Indie 403 has written a great review of my album. Thanks alot to the reviewer: Jenny Meister! Check out their great site: http://www.indie403.com

"A really good album must be three things: unique, diverse, and intelligent. Most releases have one or two of these qualities, but finding an album with that mythical third quality is quite rare. When we find it, the album is absolutely unforgettable. Fitting this description and introducing a distinct new sound is “Light A Cigarette”, the newest release from Calgary’s Chris Naish. The self-described “garage folk practitioner” has created something that is heartfelt, emotional and completely different, and that is pretty special.
Showing the inspiration of the legendary Bob Dylan, Neil Young and some Johnny Cash, Naish has a raw and unpolished sound that evokes images of dimly lit lounges, whiskey saloons, and someone who would sound incredible live. His talent is natural and untraditional, restoring faith in the artist who makes music just for the love of it and whose passion is worn on his sleeve. Each of the album’s six songs shows a deeply personal and spiritual side of Naish, with so much more left to be discovered.
With a mournful voice and lyrics like “I don‘t think I should have to fall to make my friends seem so tall”, the more you listen to “Be The Road”, the more you want to love and protect Naish. Between this and the final track, “See New York”, Naish’s album paints a sometimes heartbreaking picture that becomes even more powerful on repeat – and this truly is an album that must be listened to again and again to really be appreciated. Crisp guitar, soulful harmonica and what can only be called a one-of-a-kind voice create a captivating album that few other musicians could successfully pull off."

Album Review from CW's Place

2011-10-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

Indie music blog CW's Place has just reviewed my new album. Check it out!

The latest release from Canadian ‘garage folk’ artist Chris Naish is entitled ‘Light a Cigarette.’

The 6-track EP is filled with personal material from Naish that captures the ups & down parts of his life including a spiritual aspect that also comes through in his music.
Things get started with the Neil Young sounding acoustic guitar and harmonica filled, folk rock track, “Be the Road."

Other highlight tracks include, “Never Stop,” that offers up almost rapping vocals on it. The title track, “Light a Cigarette” is a nice story telling styled folk song. “See New York,” offers up sharp crisp notes and passion filled vocals.

Review Takeaway: It’s been probably 4-5 years now since I first heard Naish’s music. Over those years I’ve reviewed his music for different music sites that I’ve run and have grown to appreciate his music that offers up what’s good about Indie music. His music is driven by personal goals and talent and not by greed or the search for a fast buck.

UK Online Radio To Play "Empty Pockets"

2011-10-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

Pete Doherty, one of my favourite current musicians, has a couple official sites. One of which is "French Dog Blues."

This website has a killer online radio program, and I am crazy excited to announce that they are going to be playing one of my songs alongside Libertines, Babyshambles, and Pete Doherty solo tracks.

Be sure to check out The French Dog Radio station at 8pm(GMT) tonight as they will be playing my song "Empty Pockets."

http://www.live365.com/stations/fdrdj

Very cool stuff. Thanks to everyone over at FDR!

The CD is here!

2011-10-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

The CD's here! The CD's here! I just received the first shipment of my new album. Check it out!

CD Release Party

2011-10-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!!

Great news: This November 18th I will performing a CD RELEASE PARTY at Bonavista Baptist Church. Tickets are only $10 and include a copy of the new album - "Light A Cigarette."

The Facebook event is here at http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=310089859006892 Please invite your friends and their friend - the venue is quite huge and it would be awesome to fill it.

change yourself

2011-10-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

an uphill battle or a downhill slide.
can you change yourself or are you like the tide?

skull guitar

2011-10-14T16:44:00.001-07:00

i want this night to be forever

2011-10-09T22:41:00.001-07:00

i want this night to be forever.
this moment, this second, this love, this life -
i want it to be forever.

sitting on an indian roof top. eating pizza. you cut my hair.

my hands can't hold water, without letting it slip through my fingers.

and sometimes i'm scared that love is water.

i want this night to be forever.

music isn't music is

2011-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

music isn't:
{ rails, lines, bumps or hits. topless applause or "pay me or i quit." arenas and superstars and cash money billionaires making stares climbing stairs made broken ~~guitar~~ heart strings, burning friends to keep warm, limos, long legs, longer time away }

"If Michael Jackson wants to work for Pepsi, why doesn't he just get himself a suit and an office in their headquarters and be done with it?" - Tom Waits

music is:

bittersweet promotions

2011-09-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

officially, i'm now full time at work. good and bad, that is. good because it means i'm good at what i do, bad because i'm not terribly keen on this whole "working thing."

i'll be honest, the music biz is a tricky thing and can be rather frustrating. so when my job is getting more and more serious and my dream is getting more and more further away, it can be a little disappointing. sometimes i feel as though my dreams of being a full time musician are dying 40 hours at a time. obviously i know that that's melodramatic, but it still feels that way sometimes.

being really good at your day job is like being a great shark hunter when you want to be a laptop repairman. it's nice to know that you're good at something, but it's not necessarily in the direction you wanna go.

don't get me wrong, my job is quite good for where i'm at and who i am. but sometimes it feels like each step up at work is a step down at music.

the nice thing is i'll be making a few more shekels, and will be able to provide better for me lovely wife and will be able to spend some money on getting my music out there.

in summation - promotion at work = bittersweet.

Journal: Questions are costly, answers are free

2011-09-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

who buys a grey car? who says i want to drive something boring?

"I hate those yellow green blue or red or rainbow cars - i am not a clown and i do not need to drive in a motor vehicle designed for clown transportation."

pardon? Rewind the wound up, please.

what makes something worth doing?

"if it pays"

is that really all it takes?

"yes, if the money's right"

what if you don't want money?

"then you're stupid"

what if you don't need money?

"then you're not alive"

i'm angrier than i used to be.

don't say my name, i don't like how it sounds.

your mouth can't hold it.

money money money money. nine to five we own you.

does it need to be:

{ wake up, wait for lunch, wait for supper, wait for bed, sleep.

wake up, wait for lunch, wait for supper, wait for bed, sleep. } X until you don't wake up?

questions are costly, answers are free. the right answer is priceless.

Comics Journal: Monster of a Week

2011-09-15T11:33:00.001-07:00

Comics Journal: Hair Cut Follies

2011-09-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

Comic Journal: New Yo Yo!

2011-09-07T11:47:00.001-07:00

Live Video: Empty Pockets - August 2011

2011-09-03T15:20:00.001-07:00

Gig Diary - August 2011

2011-09-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

Swine Fest - (C) Wanda Armitage

August 11: Jack FM's Busker Idol, Starbucks
This was so fun. I woke at the unholy hour of 7am and performed live on air from 7:30am - 8:30am on the patio of the Starbucks in Mission, Calgary. A bunch of friends came down and we had a great time. Afterwards I got my favourite breakfast - "THE FAMOUS COWBOY BREAKFAST" at Humpties.

August 19: Caffe Crema
Always a great gig, I got to perform with some great acts, and the whole set was filmed for YouTube. I'll be sure to post the videos as they come up.

August 27: Swine Fest #6
I love playing outdoor shows, and this was no exception. The community of Deer Run put on a huge block party where they roasted a huge pig. Great, great food. After dinner I performed to the ridiculously fun crowd.

Busker Idol - The Results

2011-08-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

The results are in! I have no idea how those people on So You Think You Can Dance handle waiting to hear the results of their competition each week, waiting this once was nerve wracking! The winner of this year's Busker Idol was announced today, and I'd like to be among the first to say "Congratulations Robbie Aylesworth, you big jerk."

Thanks so much to everyone who supported me and voted. It was great just to be a part of the competition and to get as much exposure as I did. The best part for me was getting to perform at Starbucks last week, it was an awesome experience.

Obviously, I would've liked to have won, but I'm really holding onto the wise words of Freddy from School of Rock:

Rock isn't about getting an "A." The Sex Pistols never won anything.

Many, many thanks to all of you.

Busker Idol - Voting now open!

2011-08-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

JACK FM in Calgary is running a contest for local musicians. I have been selected as a semi-finalist! Each semi-finalist has performed one day this week on the radio and filmed a video.

From Noon Friday to Friday the 19th the videos will be voted on, and the top artist will win $2,000 for their music career.

If you could vote for me that would be really, really awesome. You can vote from today until Next Friday.

The link to vote, and watch my video, is http://www.jackfm.ca/busker

Jack FM Busker Idol

2011-08-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

“JACK's giving away $2,000 cash to someone who wants to be a rock star.”

I have been selected as a semi-finalist in the JACK FM Busker Idol Competition!

There are five semi-finalists, and each one will perform this week from 7:30am-8:30am live at Starbucks, and their performance will be aired on Jack FM. Beginning Friday at noon there will be short video clips of each performer on the JACK website and the people will get to vote for this year’s BUSKER IDOL!

I will be performing at 7:30am – 8:30am this THURSDAY. You can listen on your radio, online, or come see me perform LIVE!

Address:

UPSTAIRS patio at the Starbucks in Mission (2219 4th St SW Calgary.. corner of 4th ST & 23rd)

Back on the road.

2011-07-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody.

long time no posting! I'd like to tell you whats been up. Officially, I took a break from music from January to the end of June. That's the longest I've ever taken a break from music in seven years. Frankly, music wasn't fun anymore.

for those of you who've followed me over the years, you'll remember that when I began recording and performing a lot of my work was about my depression and my life. In 2007 I started singing less and less about myself and more and more of what I assumed people would rather hear. I thought being known as "the depressed kid" or an "emo" was a bad thing. And that was the beginning of the end.

Between 2008 and 2010 music stopped being my outlet and became a chore. Music was no longer an act of expression but an act of emptiness. Lack of success, personal tragedy, and some hopes crashing down furthered the loss and lead to the break down.

In the six months off, I've had a lot of time to think. I began missing the music terribly, and in early June I started writing and working again - very secretly. I had no confidence in my music or myself. But as I played my old "depression" songs, I began to realize that I had something special those years back. Something true and authentic. I realized that what killed my passion wasn't a lack of success, but it was a lack of honesty, and a lack of authenticity.

Those old songs...a handful of people have told me that my music helped them in some struggle they were facing, or that it gave them some comfort in a rough time. that's the best compliment i've ever received! that's why i did music when i began, and somewhere along the way that was lost.

But I'm back. I'm not going back to where I was, because I've grown and changed. I'm going back to sharing my journey with those interested. I am Chris Naish. just a dude with his heart on his sleeve. If being "the depressed kid" means helping someone feel less alone, then that's what i am.

Keep an eye on this blog. We're back on the road.

The world is waiting...

2011-05-26T12:19:00.001-07:00

Gig Diary - April 2011

2011-04-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

What an awesome month this has been! Here's a recap of all of the comedy performances I had this month. I didn't include all of the workshop and open mic appearances.

April 1: April Fool's Tea Party : Self-Produced Show
This show was a blast! All the money from the Tea Sales went to support The Ride to Conquer Cancer. Steve Wirzba was the musical guest, and Scoot Laird was the MC. Also, we received press attention from three media outlets: City Light News, The Calgary Beacon, and the Calgary Herald: Neighbours.

April 15: Guest Spot : The Laugh Shop
Steve Ditata hosted, Mike Craigdallie had a middle set, and Baron Vaughn was the headliner. This was a real honour, as I got to share the stage with Baron who has opened for Dave Chappelle, and appeared in Cloverfield and Black Dynamite.

April 21: Guest Spot : The Comedy Cave
Calgary's Great Canadian Laugh Off winner Chris Griffin hosted, Terry Hollas had a guest spot, and Comedy Central's Drake Witham headlined. Drake also has been on the Craig Ferguson show. Very cool!

April 23: Funny Fest Talent Search Preliminaries: Old Spaghetti Factory

A good round of talent from Alberta and further. I am very happy to say that I placed in the top two!

Well, it was a great month and I hope May is just as fun. A great addition to my comedy shows has been MUSIC! I couldn't be happier. I love doing music and I love doing comedy, but I'm insanely passionate about Musical Comedy. Here's the song that I've been performing this past month:

Everybody's got a Hungry Hush

2011-04-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

In 2009 I was putting on a bi-weekly show called "Gonzo Night"at a local coffee shop. In August of that year an acoustic performer named Steve Wirzba opened for me.

That year Steve got together with an amazing group of musicians called Hunger Hush. Over the next few years Hunger Hush and my bands travelled to Edmonton for a sold out show, shared several bills in Calgary, and Steve Wirzba continued to add his acoustic talents to my solo shows.

On Thursday I went to Broken City, and saw Hunger Hush perform at their CD release party. It's been awesome watching this band grow into what they are today.

You should buy their album, it's astounding:
http://hungerhush.bandcamp.com/

You are never fully grown!!!

2011-04-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

Yes! Okay! HELLO!

When I was nine years old, I said to myself:
"Alright, Chris, you've had a good life. You got some great toys, listened to lots of music, and watched lots of cartoons. But that's all behind you now. Wake up, man! You're NINE. You're a man now. Who you are is firmly established. You will never ever change, you're grown. You are now an elder citizen. Use your knowledge and experience to shepherd the weak."

The crazy thing is that I said that to myself! The crazier thing is that I BELIEVED that. Every year I have that same talk with myself. Every year I tell myself "It's all over. No more growing or changing. You are who you are." But that's crap!

You can always change! You are always changing always growing! I've had the realization, a little late I might add, that we're constantly moving and shifting and changing.

"Alright, Chris, you've had a good life - and let's keep it going! Be whoever and whatever you want to be! You're never done, you're never finished, keep on keeping on!!! Wooooo hoooo!"

Press: The Calgary Beacon

2011-03-31T12:54:00.001-07:00

Here's the link to the article:

http://www.calgarybeacon.com/2011/03/april-fools-tea-party-and-clean-comedy-with-calgary-entertainer-chris-naish/

Press: Calgary Herald Neighbours

2011-03-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

a long time in the valley

2011-03-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

man, it has been a long while. things have been pretty rough 'round these parts. i don't wanna get into too much detail, but there's been some definite hurdles these days.

the past months have felt like climbing the bottom of a mountain, all i could see was the dark underbrush. i was crowded by trees and chased by the sounds of the animals in the dark. it was a hard climb.

but right now, at this moment, i feel like i just got above the tree line. it's calm, still, and quiet. I can see the mountain stretching up to the sky, and the tops of the trees stretching out beneath me like a green ocean sprawling into the horizon. the gentle dark sun is resting like a ball of light on green water.

I've found a spot to sit. and relax. thank God.

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #7

2011-03-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #6

2011-03-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #5

2011-03-06T14:36:00.000-08:00

journal: waitin' out the weather

2011-03-01T22:28:00.000-08:00

i realized that my depression was more than just teenage angst when i was 14, but i tried to ignore it anyway. the depression grew to such a level that at the age of 18 i had a breakdown caused by suicidal depression.

anti-depressants, therapy, and my faith helped a massive amount, but for me my depression never "went away" it just became "manageable."

winston churchill also had this problem, and he referred to his depression as a "black dog" that would wander in and out of his life. the dog wasn't always around, but when he was - all the colour drained from winston's world.

i'll have weeks, and sometimes months, of feeling pretty good, and then out of nowhere the black dog of depression will come 'round. when the depression comes, it's like being stalked by a grey rain cloud. i can't stop the rain from falling and i don't know how long it will last. all i can do is wait it out and deal with how the rain is affecting my world.

it's been two weeks, i'm getting tired of holding this umbrella in the cold.

what keeps me going? knowing that i'm not alone, and that when the rain stops - the sun is going to look amazing.

Press: City Light News

2011-02-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

This is from Calgary's CITY LIGHT NEWS March Issue. Pretty cool!

Awesome Things: BATMAN - Scarecrow Tales

2011-02-25T17:29:00.000-08:00

The Scarecrow is an awesome villain because of his ideological similarity to Batman: both deal in fear. Scarecrow uses the fears of his victims to get his way, Batman has harnessed his own fears. While Scarecrow is content to use fear as his weapon, Batman has become fear itself.

Released in the early 2000's to capitalize on Scarecrow's increased popularity due to Batman Begins, "Batman: Scarecrow Tales," is a very cool representation of Scarecrow's career.

Made up of eight stories presented chronologically, dated from 1941 to 2002, and featuring some of the most iconic Batman artists, this collection is ridiculously rad.

Reading "Scarecrow Tales" I was very excited to follow the evolution of the characters and the art of the comic book itself.

Pick it up! It's available at the Library, for free. You can get it other places probably.

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #4

2011-02-20T13:39:00.000-08:00

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #3

2011-02-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

4 Things To Do With Hair Clippings

2011-02-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

My lovely wife, Jen, gave me a hair cut today. As she was cutting it, I noticed all of the hair on the ground, and thought up some lovely ideas for ways to recycle it. I am all about recycling and the environment. For example, when I'm done using a plastic bottle I burn it to power a neon sign outside of my house that says "Car Pooling is for Wimps." Anyways, here are four helpful uses for old hair clippings.

Use the hair for a prank! Put the hair in an envelope and mail it to a friend of yours who is a pet lover. Enclose a note that says "I've kidnapped your dog and shaved him. Here's the proof."
Improve nature! Glue the hair to squirrels. That way the squirrels will seem wiser, and will get more respect from the animal community.
Stuff pillows, and more! Hair is very soft, and is an excellent stuffing material. Whether you're making a pillow, re-stuffing a child's toy, or practicing taxidermy on deceased family members - nothing stuffs better than hair.
Start a farm! Some people need to shave their heads because of a lice infestation. Well folks, here's a guaranteed way to turn an infestation into a fun creation: take your lice covered hair and put it in an empty goldfish bowl. Once that's done, you'd better hire some ranch hands - you've just started a farm!

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #2

2011-02-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

Sunday Funnies: Lumpy Cats #1

2011-01-30T00:01:00.000-08:00

Aaron Carter and Chris Naish - Interview from 1999

2011-01-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

Pop star Aaron Carter, the younger brother of Nick Carter, has recently entered a rehab clinic.

I met Aaron in 1999, and it was crazy. At the time I was writing for the Calgary Sun, and my mom took me to a local night club where he was playing. My assignment was to interview Aaron before his show. He told me that his music "Healed people, like, people in hospital beds." Later, we watched the opening act and after Aaron's second song my mom turned to me and said "I think we should go home." I looked at her and said "I love you, mom."

Here's the complete article I wrote [source: http://weather.canoe.ca/AllPop-CarterAaron/990302_scream.html]:

Tuesday, March 2, 1999

Scream dream: Fans line up to see Aaron Carter

By CHRIS NAISH

Hundreds of young screaming girls waited for Aaron Carter to come out and sing at his two sold out concerts at Cowboys on Feb. 28.

In fact, they were so ecstatic, they screamed for every bouncer and roadie who set foot on the stage.

So it's not surprising that Carter answered "meeting all the girls" when I asked him what is the best part about his job. When interviewed, Aaron seemed like any 11-year old boy -- except for the bodyguards and groupies.

He feels that being famous is like any other job. While he's on the road, his mom teaches him school.

He said his favourite song is Girl You Shine. When I asked him about the songs on his first album, he said he hadn't written any of them.

But he's looking forward to doing so on his next recording.

After admitting to sometimes having stage fright, Carter was obviously prepared for his shows and he was up and bouncing from the first song.

The crowd enjoyed every tune, shouting out the lyrics as if they were each on stage with Aaron. They can dream, since Aaron proved an 11-year-old can be on stage -- and a 12-year-old can interview him!

I have to say, though, that the highlight for me was the opening act, Calgary's own Limited Edition.

I preferred the group's music and lyrics.

Stand Up Comedy Debut!

2011-01-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

Here it is! Huge thanks to Scoot, Beka, and Jen for not getting too sick of these jokes and thanks to Bethany, Steve, and Geoff for coming out to watch this stuff! Here's the video:

The Tony Clifton Guide to Success

2011-01-14T16:58:00.000-08:00

The following piece is from my old blog that ran in April 2010

Each summer during high school I went to a summer camp and participated in a Leadership Training Program. As a Jr Cabin Leader it was my responsibility to make sure the campers had a good safe week. This included making sure that they brushed their teeth each night, got along well with each other, and properly lit their blue angels.

One of the highlights of my week was the talent show. For one whole summer, each week I would slick my hair back, put on a disgusting tuxedo and tell terrible jokes. I called myself "Tony Sheridan," and this whole performance was inspired by the great "Tony Clifton."

Clifton was discovered by Andy Kaufman in 1969, while performing in a seedy lounge in Las Vegas. Captivated, Kaufman engaged Tony to open for him on several occasions, most notably his historic "Carnegie Hall Concert." In the ‘80s, Clifton appeared numerous times on such shows as David Letterman and The Miss Piggy Special. Rodney Dangerfield hired Clifton to open for him at Bill Graham's world famous Fillmore in San Francisco. Later, Clifton starred opposite Jim Carrey in the Milos Forman film “Man on the Moon.” This May, Tony is performing at the famous "Comedy Store" for charity.

I was lucky enough to get to interview Tony, one of my comedic heroes, and I am pleased to present the:
"Tony Clifton Guide To Success"

There’s no school like the old school.
I’m old school. You get to do it all – sing, dance, tell jokes, format the show, oversee ticket sales, promotion, stay connected to your fan base. Give the people a show and a half. You work for them, they’ll work for you. I always say you’re only as old as the person you’re having sex with.

Stay humble, know your audience, and give the people what they want.
I’m an International Singing Sensation. I open for no man. The only two
times I have has been for Andy Kaufman at Carnegie Hall and for Rodney
Dangerfield in San Francisco.

Let me tell you about Dangerfield. The crowd wanted Rodney, not me,
so they were making lots of noise while I was singing. I told them I’m not
leaving the stage. They weren’t going to see their Rodney until I finished
one song without a peep. I sang “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”
seventeen times in a row until they all shut up. They were pissed.

Keep an eye on your co-stars, especially Danny Devito.
DeVito’s got his head up his ass. You know he’s a legal midget in eight
states. Oh, pardon me, it’s politically incorrect to call them “midgets”
any more. You’re supposed to call them “little people”. Little people my
ass. I’ll call them what I want to call them – mites, hayseeds, shrimp….
MIDGETS!

So DeVito’s got this Napoleonic complex cause he’s a midget. But he no
longer wants anyone to know he’s a midget. Remember “Taxi”, when he
came out from his dispatcher’s office, which was like a cage. They went for
the midget sight gag. But over the years, he’s become quite the Producer
(“Reality Bites”, “Erin Brockovich”, “Pulp Fiction”, “Reno 911!” etc.), so
he’s now a big muckety-muck and doesn’t like that midget sight gag stuff.

So one day I show up to location on “Man on the Moon”, and I see that
they’ve built a two-foot high, 100-foot long ramp. So when DeVito’s
walking alongside Jim Carrey, he’s the same height. Of course the ramp is
out of frame.

Always give back to your community, and the world...or not.
It’s true that the run at The Comedy Store gig on May 16th, 19th, 20th, and
21st is for charity. But I’m not involved with that crap. I had a run-in with
the law and instead of jail time, I got eighty hours of community service,
which I’m knocking off with this Comic Relief charity performance.

If you haven't seen "Man on the Moon" you really need to go rent or buy it.
You can read more and learn more about Tony at http://tonyclifton.net

-chris naish

Song Factory - Bring On The Snow

2011-01-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

This "Factory Track" is for Kristina who wanted a song about "A lazy afternoon, watching the snow fall." Very cool.

Song Factory - The Old Tree

2011-01-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

Colette wanted me to write this song. She thought the topic was a little strange, but it's actually a very awesome topic. It's one that I've always thought about, but never thought of writing a song about until she suggested it. Anyways, enjoy the song and then below you can see her actual request!

"No matter now adept our artistic skill, our effigies can never hope to capture the vibrant beauty of a living elf. Perhaps that is truly why we mourn."

Depending on the book/movie/game, elves are immortal and won't die of old age, but they can be murdered. I thought it'd be cool to have an "Elven Wake Song", something that'd be sung at an elf's funeral.

Maybe similar in feel to Folk Bloodbath by Josh Ritter.

Except, generic with no proper names, probably not even specifically mentioning that they're elves. Above all, beautiful and sad, but maybe hopeful at the end... I imagine they're nature-y enough to appreciate the circle of life. But the song might whine a bit about how immortals shouldn't die, and might shake its fist a bit at the murderer. You've just got to love a good murder ballad.

- Colette

The Song Factory - All Creation

2011-01-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

This one was requested for by Sarah, the topic she chose was "Trees."

the music of 2010

2011-01-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

My Favourite Albums:
Gaslight Anthem - American Slang
Mavis Staples - You Are Not Alone [featuring Jeff Tweedy!]
The Black Keys - Brothers
The Tallest Man on Earth - The Wild Hunt
Nas and Damian Marley - Distant Relatives
Robyn - Body Talk Pt.1
Bruce Springsteen - The Promise

This Year's Duds
The Dead Weather - Sea of Cowards

Coolest Music Event
The Libertines Reunion this past summer

The Sunday Funnies

2011-01-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

2010-12-27T10:01:00.001-08:00

Some people wish for peace on earth, or for a shiny new bike. This year, my Christmas wish was to not have to sleep on the couch.

My wife, Jen, always works boxing day as a preventative method. If she’s working boxing day, then no one can make her go out shopping. While watching cartoons, I decided to give Jen a phone call her at work.

Jen’s Co-Worker: Hello, Waves Coffee!

Chris: Hello, this is... Douglas Stanford, and I’m calling with the National Health Service. I’m taking a poll.

Jen’s Co-Worker: Okay...

Chris: I have a few questions to ask, may I please speak with a married staff member?

Jen’s Co-Worker: Sure, just one second.

[Several Seconds Later...]

Jen: Hello! Jen speaking.

Chris: Hello, my name’s Douglas Stanford and I’m calling with the National Health Service. I have a few questions for you.

Jen: Ok, go ahead.

Chris: Great, my first question is “How long have you been married?”

Jen: Four years.

Chris: And just how many of those years been “happy?”

Jen: All four of them.

Chris: So, that would mean that you don’t know about your husband’s mistresses?

Jen: [surprisingly still polite] My husband doesn’t have those.

Chris: Jen, you do know this is me, right?

Jen: What? Who?

Chris: Jen, this is Chris!

Jen: You LITTLE TWERP! [speaking to her co-worker] It was my husband calling!

Jen’s Co-Worker: What an ass!

It looks like my wish may come true. I won’t have to sleep on the couch. This year, I’ve earned a prime spot on the balcony.

Christmas Movie: A buttload of boredom

2010-12-26T09:59:00.000-08:00

I love going to see a movie on Christmas Day. It’s something that Jen and our friends Scoot and Beka try to do each year. A movie is the perfect way to relax after the stresses leading up to Christmas.

This year we decided to see How Do You Know. How Do You Know is the worst film I’ve seen in my entire life, and my sister made me watch all of the Olsen twin’s movies.

A quarter of the way through the movie we were all annoyed that our choice this year was a bigger turkey than the one we just ate. Halfway through the film we giddy with delight at just how terrible the film was. Now, the movie was not “so bad it’s good.” It was “so terrible that you need to come up with your own entertainment so you don’t burn down the theatre.”

During one particularly dull point of the film, spread my legs and put them on the empty seat in front of me, as if I were about to give birth. I then unleashed a seriously unholy fart. It was so loud that I not only broke wind, I broke someone’s ear drums. I then turned to Scoot and said:

Look’s like there’s now TWO STINKERS in the theatre!

Farewell, Hanukkah

2010-12-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

I get off work each day at 3:30pm, because I am a delicate flower who cannot be overworked. When I ride home on the Shuttle Bus, there are always a group of Junior High Boys who get on a few stops after mine.

They are hilarious. They're always saying the weirdest things. The funniest is a pudgy blonde boy. Today, he had this to say:

"Today is the last day of Hanukkah. I know I'm not Jewish, but I'm still sad."

Gig Jokes : December 7, 2010

2010-12-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

Ladies and ladies and ladies and gentlemen! Every concert I tell some HILARIOUS jokes. These are some of the ones I told tonight.

I have a friend who is a bird. He never goes swimming because he has a wig. He's a BALD EAGLE!
My friend came up to me and he said "I'm going to bed. I was busy all day putting up flyers for my lost puppy." I said "You must be DOG GONE TIRED!"
I have a habit of noticing lots of little things. This does not come in handy in the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM!

christmas! punch! excitement! WOOO!

2010-12-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

i am so crazily excited about EVERYTHING. Woo hoo! I have too many things to say

I really really like punch. every time i hang out with my friends scoot and beka we have punch. punch is so freaking amazing.
I think that punch should be defined as more than two liquids in a big bowl. I invented several punch types, but Jen says that they don't count.
One of my new types of punch is "MR. MAGIC'S BLUE BUBBLE YUM" and it consists of blue bubble gum pop and vodka.
Today, when picking up supplies for our awesome die-hard christmas double date with scoot and beka, we had to wait in line at the bank forever! it was especially awkward because we had just purchased a bottle of vodka from the liquor store.
it was even more awkward because i was being silly. i was trying to convince jen that the elderly man and young man in front of us were hitting on each other.
the clerk was impressed with my white soul patch, and gave us a free calendar. as we left an old lady looked at my calendar and was like "OH MY GOD." and I was like "Man, this lady really wants our calendar." and jen was like "no, she was looking at the liquor bottle"
anyways christmas is great.
one reason christmas is great is because you get to hang out all the time with other people, and any social gathering becomes a "christmas gathering" and feels like a party.
My "Lonely Bath of Shame" last night, which consists of bathing alone in a tub full of vinegar and tears, was especially awesome yesterday, because it was a "Christmas Lonely Bath of Shame."

56 Movie Reviews in Two Minutes

2010-12-01T18:54:00.001-08:00

How do you know which film to buy this year for your friends and families this Christmas?

Allow me to help, with 56 film reviews in two minutes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDrLh6ZHHEM

Very Cool Song - I AM A ROBOT

2010-11-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

Ben Pleasance came all the way across the sea to our fair land of Calgary. He's played a few gigs with me, and I've always dug his music. His latest track is called "I'm a Robot," and it is absolutely killer. The production, by Elijah Lucian, really adds an awesome layer to the track.

The melody is haunting, the effects take up to another level. Enjoy it for free, then buy it on iTunes!
EvoLucian Music - Ben Pleasance - I'm A Robot - SoundCloud

gig diary: the house coffee sanctuary, calgary, November 21, 2010

2010-11-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks Sarah Mills for the photo!

Chris Naish in the Gauntlet!

2010-11-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

This was written by Nicole Dionne, for the "Escapes & Pursuits" section of the University of Calgary's student paper... pretty cool! Thanks Nicole!!

Transcript:

Archduke professor special agent detective

doctor Chris Naish, esquire.

Is his music as good as his elaborate

title? The only way to find out for sure

is to head out to The House. He’ll be

there Dec. 7 at 8 p.m. If you like the

music that you hear, rumour has it he

haunts that fine Kensington establishment

every second Tuesday.

four years in, jen has a lot to learn.

2010-11-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

so - last night was me and jen's four year anniversary of being married. if marriage was college, we'd both have bachelor's degrees.

we went out for vietnamese and over dinner, we had this conversation...

Jen: I'm glad the weather improved, I like the snow but the past few days were too much.
Chris: I dunno, I love winter. It gets even better in January.
Jen: Why?
Chris: Because it's brighter out at night.
Jen: What do you mean?
Chris: [getting impatient] Well, Jen, it's brighter outside because the snow starts to reflect the sunlight.
Jen: At night?
Chris: Of course. During the day, the ground stores the sunlight. When the sun goes down, it reflects the light back into the sky.
Jen: [trying to contain explosive laughter] And why does this only start in January?
Chris: Because before then the ground hasn't stored enough sunlight, obviously.

Jen then burst into laughter, while I tried to explain to her how the snow stores and releases sunlight. For some reason, the more I explained this scientific fact, the more she laughed.

I don't know what's wrong with that girl.

Update - Jen's Comments:
#1 You could have warned me that you would be slandering me in your latest blog post...lol
#2 You made it sound as if once the sun sets in the winter there is a great beam of light that shoots back into the sky like a giant flashlight!
#3 You are crazy.

Live Video - "In Love, Outta Luck"

2010-11-20T23:12:00.000-08:00

This was shot in August 2010, by Blair Stretch. Enjoy!!!

It's in HD, so it won't fit in the blog... Click below to see it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLqwTb-W9MU

a morning walk with a strange man

2010-11-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

while walking to the bus stop this morning, at 8am, i saw a small dog. i was in a residential area near a super busy street, and was very surprised to see the bichon. he was sauntering around as if he owned the world.

i looked down at him and said "what are you doing?"

the smug dog had no response.

i was worried about him... he was only half a block away from a super busy street and with the snow he would be impossible to see. even though he was impolite, i didn't want him to get hit by a car. So, i just walked with him, hoping i would see his human or that i'd see his yard.

"do you even know where you're going?"

still no response.

we kept walking. while i was worrying that i'd have to leave him alone on the mean streets, he stopped to pee on someone's lawn. he literally had no respect for anyone.

"where do you live?", i demanded.

still no response.

he then walked up the path to someone's house. "their fence is locked!", i told him. he ignored me, and squeezed through a small gap in the fence door in front of what was his house.

i was so embarassed. i'd interrupted a gentleman on his morning constitutional, harassed him, and then followed him home.

it must have taken him a lot of patience and restraint not to respond to the crazy man bothering him.

my wife just fired me.

2010-11-15T21:23:00.000-08:00

i've just been let go. jen has fired me.

in my defense, all i would like to say is that comforters are stupid, and that any blanket that needs a special cover is not really a great blanket anyway.

now i am not sure if this blanket is called a duvet or if it is called a comforter, but today we washed it's special cover. it's called a "cover" but it's more like a special blanket holder.

jen stood on one side of the bed and i on the other. our task was simple. all we had to do was put our respective sides of the blanket into the cover. after having heard process the quite slowly, several times, i was ready to begin.

literally two seconds later, jen's side of the blanket was covered exquisitely and my arms were crossed and lost in the knotted mess that once was two separate bed accessories. i believe that i may as well have been drooling.

jen looked up from her perfection and over to my shambles. all she said was "you're fired."

chris naish song factory !!

2010-11-08T16:16:00.000-08:00

This year has been crazy! A lot of big plans fell through, and in alot of ways I'm starting from scratch with my music career. Striving for music success is super fun, but also super hard and costly. While I love doing free gigs they don't seem to pay very well - so I've created an exciting way to support my music! I humbly present:

CHRIS NAISH SONG FACTORY!

For a minimum donation of $10 dollars, I will write and record you a song about any topic you want!

After ordering you will receive a High Quality Song File, and a Chord/Lyric sheet for your very own song - within two weeks!

You can be as specific as you like with song content, tone, and anything else!!!

I will only be taking Song Orders for the next month, so call now... or e-mail!

contact chrisnaish @ gmail.com

my two favourite local bands

2010-11-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

you should check these bands out... because they are the best in the city. straight up.

THE PITY DATES http://www.thepitydates.com/
One sickeningly funky guitar, rad percussion, and the very best female singer i have ever heard. next to jen that is. check out their demos while they work on their acoustic album.

HUNGER HUSH http://www.myspace.com/hungerhush
i'd like to hang out with each member of this band. they are all cool. this is the opposite of the music i make... super complex, time changes, trumpets, and a whole funk load of more cool stuff. imagine if wilco had a sense of humour.

the first band meeting

2010-11-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

jen, my wife, and i have been working on some songs and are planning to start a band. we've been rehearsing with me on guitar and jen on bass or piano.

today we had our first band meeting.

Jen: You're out of the band!
Chris: What? You can't kick me out of my own band.
J: Yes I can. I'm usurping your power!
C: What are you going to do on stage? Play the piano and pout?
J: I play bass and piano, but it's not called piano. I play "keys"
C: Don't call it keys, it's piano.
J: I PLAY KEYS! I'm Bobby Keys.
C: Bobby Keys is the Rolling Stones saxophone player.
J: Hmm, then when we're on stage we're different people. On stage I will be Jenny Keys. Bobby Key's granddaughter.
C: And who will I be?
J: It doesn't matter. I will be Jenny Keys, and you will just be Joe Schmo.
C: And what will you be called when you play bass?
J: Slappa. Slappa String.

the rest of the meeting followed a similar course until jen said that she had to go write a paper.

she's playing Sonic The Hedgehog 2 right now.

the most exciting way to relax: drawing

2010-10-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

drawing is one of my favourite things in the world to do. drawing is how i relax. i draw what i want, for myself. one day i'll tell you about my first "arts career" as a cartoonist, but today i want to talk about the thrill of creating a work of art.

when you're drawing a picture, anything you add to the illustration can potentially ruin it or make it better. the trick is to know what to add and when to stop.

the first twenty minutes of a drawing are very easy for me, i just open up my head and turn off my critical mind. almost subconsciously i let whatever is in my head vomit onto the page. this is always cool, because you get to see some raw emotions and feelings just straight from yourself. once this is on the page, i turn my head back on and begin to put the finishing touches onto the picture.

i spend minutes staring at the drawing that was "puked" onto the page. after deliberation, i very quickly add something to the drawing. this is the most exciting part, because whatever you add is permanent. it's a huge risk: every addition is a possible destruction of your creation, but it if you don't add enough it won't be finished. whether it's on a napkin or the back of a guitar, it's treated the same. in the moment, the drawing is a priceless creation. it's a loved artwork that takes up all of my focus, which is why it's so exciting to be able to better it or ruin it.

the whole point of a drawing, to me, was making it, and the process of creating it. being able to see the mistakes, the successes, and everything else all at once is what makes looking at the drawing so exciting to me.

i'd like to show you some stuff i've drawn, but i normally throw a picture out when i'm done. i'm not really sure why i do that. luckily, i found a couple things lying around, and put them into this post.

overheard story: the angels stole his violin

2010-10-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

the shuttle bus rocked back and forth as it tore down the long, busy road early this morning. as i lay half-awake at the back, a man at the front spoke to the driver.

this man always takes the early shuttle. he is about sixty years old, and looks like a lawyer or something of the sort. he wears a long, thick trenchcoat. not a gross rain coat type one, but one of those fancy ones made of fabric... it's like a blanket for grown up men. he carries a small leather brief case, and is always talking to the driver.

this morning he was talking about music and musicians. he spoke of his grown up children who played classic instruments, and told anecdotes of their children learning to play instruments. he then spoke of his father.

"before i was born, my father performed in dance bands. that was the social thing back then, and my father was very good. he played eight instruments, but his specialty was the violin.

growing up, i heard stories of how amazing he was at the violin and how great he was while performing at the dances. But i always considered his playing to be very mediocre.

years after he died, my sister told me that when i was very young he had an accident. she told me that he went into heaven, and the angels told him to go back to earth - it wasn't his time to die. he refused, he wanted to stay since he loved heaven so much, but they convinced him to go back to earth.

he was fine, and recovered after the accident in all ways except one. he had totally forgotten how to play the violin. he spent the rest of his life teaching himself how to play again, but was always possessed a mere shadow of his former skill.

if i'd known that while he was alive, i would've been a lot more patient when it came to his music."

gig diary: the house coffee sanctuary, calgary, october 26, 2010

2010-10-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

this was a super fun gig. we had a great turn out and there were some dreadlocked dancers! awesome pictures taken by sarah mills!

just like in the movies!

2010-10-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

today at work, i felt a zit on my upper thigh rub against my jeans. so i walked into the multi-user bathroom, pulled my pants down to just above my knees, and using the mirror for help, went about popping the zit. i have no idea why i thought this was an acceptable thing for an adult to do.

i didn't think anyone would come into the bathroom, but suddenly, mid-pop, the door began opening. i started pulling my pants up right as my mexican co-worker Esteban walked in.

"ah! it's not what it looks like!", i said
"Sure, chris, okay," said Esteban, trying to look away.

At that moment, I thought "if i show him the zit, he will believe me!" I began pulling by pants down again - "Look Esteban, it's just a zit!"

"NO CHRIS THAT'S OKAY!" he yelled.
I realized I was being insane so i quickly went into the bathroom stall to fix my clothes. I tried explaining myself, but Esteban just kept laughing.

As I left the bathroom he said "It's just like in the movies!"

the worst christmas card ever

2010-10-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

every sunday night jen, me, and two really cool people lead a bible study for teens in sr. high. one week of the month we try and do something good, to serve the world. i think that we should make lemonade for all of mankind, but there are some economical concerns with that.

what we ended up doing this month was all the teens and leaders chipped in some money to make two operation christmas child shoe boxes. jen accidentally called this event "operation: shoebox child," which sounds like a very low cirque de soleil attraction. last night, after shopping and making the boxes, some of the teens played pool, some played guitar hero, and a few others made christmas cards for the shoe boxes.

one of the leaders, colette, is an amazing graphic designer and did up a killer card with cute little stars all over it, and some of the teens also made really sweet cards. so, while jen was murdering on guitar hero, i decided to make a whimsical card for one of the shoe boxes. i thought it was pretty cool. it had a big red heart on it, and a fun christmas tree!

when i showed the completed card to everyone, no one thought it was very good... i was suprised.... then i looked at it again and realized why it was a pretty horrible card for any child. let alone one in a third world country on christmas morning...here is a facsimile of the "worst christmas card ever"

gig diary: public library, calgary, october 23, 2010

2010-10-23T14:47:00.000-07:00

i just got back from one of the most surreal gigs i've ever played. it was at the calgary downtown library. i was scheduled to play from 2pm to 3pm for a "teen's afternoon."

jen and i arrived at the library at 1:30pm, and went to the "children and young adult" floor. the librarian told me that instead of playing in the nook affectionately known as the "teen zone" i would be performing on the main floor of the library.

the set up was simple: one chair for me to perform and sixteen chairs for people to sit and watch. beside the chair was a sandwich board that had a cartoon i'd drawn for my website. when i drew the cartoon of myself wearing no pants and a paper bag on my head, i did not expect that it would be on display for the entire library. anyways, this whole set up was on the main floor of the library. the room was the size of large shoppers drug mart. behind me was the "new and notable" shelves, to my left were the librarians, and to my right were the elevators.

as i begin setting up my guitar and trying not to wet my pants from the nervousness of performing to the entire library with no amplification, a man approached me. after some small chit chat about my music, this exchange took place.

Man: Do you drink vodka?
chris: Sometimes.
Man: You're going to today! Right now, Ok?
Chris: Uhm, no thanks.
Man: Why not?
Chris: Because it's 1:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday. Everyone knows you only drink vodka on monday mornings.
Man: Ok.
[long awkward pause]
Man: if you were gay, i'd do you.
Chris: Thank you.

As the man walked away, a different librarian asked if i was ok with the set up. i told her that i thought that maybe the main floor was a bit huge and busy. thankfully, we decided for me to play in the "teen zone."

with seven empty chairs, two girls studying, and a bunch of teens playing on computers in front of me, and the children's section behind me i began to play. after my first song i said "hi, i'm chris naish. i'll be interupting your studying for about an hour." And that's exactly what i did. i sang my heart out and it felt great.

soon enough a young lady sat in one of the chairs. then two young mothers with their kids and strollers sat down. i had to change some lyrics, and made up songs on the spot to suit my audience, but it was very cool. they stayed for my whole hour, the girls studying seemed to like it, and a few of the computer users even took off their headphones to listen to me.

when i was done, i packed up my guitar and jen and i strolled out. all in all, a very surreal gig, but a very cool one all the same. i'm proud that i gave the gig my best, i'm glad my wife and the librarians were all so supportive, and as an extra "feather in my cap," i believe that i may have met my first groupie.

stand up comedy and the friday recharge!

2010-10-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

So last night – Thursday – i went to see my buddy, Scoot’s, second open mic comedy performance... it was held at the Laugh Shop here in Calgary, and was pretty crazy.

There was a lot of people there – like 100+ just to see amateur comedy. Very cool to see something so unique being so well supported. The audience was also super supportive of the young comedians...no heckling! Very cool.

The amateur comedians were actually really really really funny. I think i ruined everyone’s evening with my high pitch cackle of a laugh. Oh well!

anyways - today is friday. monday to thursday i work part time, and throughout the entire week i work on my music: writing songs, practicing guitar, rehearsing songs, and working tireless on my choreography.

all this stuff is awesome to do, but uses up energy from my creative batteries. when friday rolls around, i'm creatively empty. so i take the day to recharge my batteries by enjoying lots of cool creative things. it's very awesome and very fun.

i really love the cycle of working super hard on creating and perfecting my creations, enjoying the stuff everyone else has created, and then getting back to creating.

also - tomorrow i will be playing a concert at the library...i'm a bit nervous about it, but i will tell you how it went tomorrow!!!

the first post is the deepest - late night house cleaning!

2010-10-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

it is nine pm on a fantastic wednesday evening. altho, i wish wednesday started with an "f" because it would sound better to say it's a "Fantastic Fednesday." thank God for alliteration! I suppose i could say "Wonderful Wednesday" but that would make me a liar - this is not a wonderful, whimsical, wild, or willowy day. this is a fantastic day - and we shall leave it at that.

this is the new blog. it is not fancy. i have discovered that whenever i try and make something fancy and amazing it turns out quite terrible. but when i "just do" stuff it turns out rather pleasingly. so this is blog is just going to be random, mostly unedited, writings on my life and music and junk.

bob dylan said "i'll be in your dreams if you'll be in mine" and i am saying "be in my story and i'll be in yours and then we'll have one big awesome story together."

bob is more succint than i am.

anyways - Jen, my wife, goes to school and works at a church and a coffee shop. since she does all that stuff, i take care of the house. tonight she is working until midnight which means i have had lots of time to clean. i'm rather proud of myself because i have created her a cool little study space.

we have a room in our house where the laundry machines are supposed to go. we don't have any laundry machines: so i put in a comfy black chair, nailed some pictures to the wall, and added in some decorations. Hopefully jen will have a sweet space to study in.

if not, we can always set up a disco ball and have the world's smallest dance club.